I obsess over numbers. Or more precisely, I obsess over the scale. I weigh myself every day. Every morning. Sometimes in the afternoon. Every night when I change into my pajamas. I stare at those numbers, sometimes in ecstasy as they reflect a desired change and sometimes in frustration when they reflect decisions that weren’t so kind to my calorie count.
But why? Why do I step on that little square, worry about what it’ll say, wonder what I could do to make it change? Am I unhappy with how I look? Have I done anything to result in change?
Overall, I am happy with my body. Are there areas that need of improvement? Of course! Could my body be skinnier? Toner? More muscular? Obviously. And I keep exercising so that I can build up that endurance, the muscle, and flexibility.
But there are times in my life where the numbers on the scale dictate how I eat. Dictate my mood. Dictate my relationship with food.
I hate that.
I have allowed an object to govern over my life. It has become an idol to my heart, and yet I don’t have the discipline to get rid of it. Because of my discipline to maintain my current body status, I keep the scale to measure my discipline. Confusing and ironic, I know.
That’s my struggle. There are those who are working hard to change their bodies in a healthier way, and the scale seems to ignore their efforts. Don’t let the number of your weight fool you. There are other ways to see the progress. You can measure progress by how many inches you’ve lost. You can measure progress by how loose your clothing fits on your body. All of these things reflect hard work, dedication, and determination. Don’t give up because you don’t see a change on the scale.
It’s not all about your weight. Don’t let it be. Don’t let the scale (or the mirror… that can be deceiving too!) deny you of acceptance and happiness. The scale is not the enemy. It’s the power we allow it to have over our lives that is the enemy. I have that power-struggle every day. I just have to keep reminding myself of Psalm 139:14.