This has been my third attempt to writing a post this month. The struggle is real. I hadn’t felt the inspiration to write. I felt there was a need to update but there wasn’t enough sustenance to create a worthy post to read. Perhaps I’m too picky, but I hate writing for the sake of writing. There needs to be a purpose!

Yesterday, Valentine’s Day, is one of my least favorite holidays. I just find it silly to go all worked up about love on one single day when in reality, we should celebrate love every day. And love is not limited to a significant other. We should celebrate love for all those around us: our family, our friends, and all those around us.

This got me thinking about self-love and how to learn to love our bodies. Yes, learn to love our bodies. People will look at me and marvel at how fit I look, how much weight I have lost, but I can stare at a mirror and pick at myself all day long. I’ll step on a scale and agonize over a few couple of pounds. Why? Because I haven’t accepted this body.

Well, I have and I haven’t. I try to treat my body well. This includes exercising regularly (if I’m not teaching Jazzercise, I take Jazzercise classes to get at least 4 days in), eating well, and taking steps to maintain my body. What does maintenance look like? This includes stretching (something I’m trying to get back in to), getting a monthly massage, going to the chiropractor, and taking Epsom-salt baths whenever I feel achy. I’ve also started taking a collagen and protein powder supplement with my coffee in the morning to help promote joint health. Ever since I started taking the supplement, I’ve noticed I’ve gained a few extra pounds, and I’ve been working on adjusting my mindset to the new “norm” of my body.

Isn’t that silly? You would think a few pounds wouldn’t be a big deal. Oh but it is! The control freak inside of me is wondering can I do to make those numbers on the scale go down. For what? No reason other than the mental satisfaction of being a specific weight.

Let’s read that again:

No reason other than the mental satisfaction of being a specific weight.

Not because my clothes don’t fit right. Not because my husband will love me less. He doesn’t even know how much I weigh. Because my brain thinks it’s a problem to be a few pounds heavier.

Sigh. The struggle is real. I don’t want to think that way. As a fitness instructor, people come to me to work out, sweat, get in shape, or maintain their shape, and while we’re doing that, I want them to LOVE their bodies in the stage that they are in as well as the stage that their bodies can become. I truly feel that I can’t accomplish that faithfully and honestly until I can do that for myself too. Truth.

So I continue to labor to love my body now. I continue to work, study, learn, and dance for the ladies at Jazzercise Tyrone for them to love their bodies. I see them every week, and I’ve learned every. single. name. Boom! One goal down! Not only do I know their names, but I look forward to seeing them on that dance floor, smiling, sweating, and appreciate every single person that walks through that door. They are my family. They are my labor of love.

Even though I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day within my family, I celebrated it with them. Today’s class, especially, is and will probably always be the best class I’ve taught. Did I teach it perfectly? Hahaha, no. That will probably never happen. But it doesn’t matter. The energy was so amazing, and as one client told me afterwards, “You could see the love and joy on your face today.” Thank you Jazzercise Tyrone in reminding me what love is all about: acceptance.