On my latest date night with my husband, we were perusing the bookstore, and I came across the ever popular Marie Kondo and her book about sparking joy. If you don’t know anything about her (I, personally, have not not watched any of her shows on Netflix), she is an organizer who forces you to ask “Does this item spark joy?” If the answer is yes, you keep that item. If it doesn’t, then you remove it.

Simple enough, right?

This philosophy may be prudent in physical items, but I’m not sold that it can be applied to all things in life. First of all, emotions are deceiving and fickle. I may feel one way and then feel the complete opposite the next day. Also, is there anything that is truly void of joy? That’s a question that I’ve been asking myself lately.

Because I’m struggling. I’m struggling to find the joy in teaching. When I began this journey, I felt that this was an opportunity to get paid to do something that I loved. Now, there are so many aspects and complications that blur the original vision, and it’s hard to get motivated. How long do you keep searching for the joy? How long does it take for that search to come to an end?

I don’t know the answer to those questions. My biggest goal is to make it to my anniversary which would be July 2020. Will I make it that long? I hope so. Until then, I choose to find the joy. I choose to see my friends, whether they are my fellow instructors or the clients on the dance floor. I choose to exercise and get that endorphin release. I choose to keep working, learning, fighting until I can’t any more.